Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Music to Michigan By

Orson and Stranko over at EDSBS got me thinking. They recently killed a little time listing out songs that exemplify crucial emotional conundrums such as "Songs to drink beer to" and "Song You and Your 2 Year Old Both Like." I enjoyed reading it, but It also made me wonder what songs best represent Michigan's sports teams and coaches.

So, based on my limited music experience, I give you Michigan's Three Main Sports and Coaches as music. I obviously paid a little more attention to the football team, but I gave up on Moeller, Szabo, and Strippling.

Please feel free to comment, critize, and provide better insights.

Michigan Football: After the season from hell, its hard not to pick a song that in some way doesn't contain a tad bit of sadness and anger. "You Give Love A Bad Name" seemed to sum up the season pretty well. But despite the fact that half the population of New Jersey has at some point attended Michigan (and like Michigan they love their Camaros), its too obvious to pick. Bob Seager's "Turn the Page" and "Against the Wind" came to mind, but only because he's from Michigan. The Nuge always comes up, but he's insane, so I'll pass on him. Besides "Wango Tango" has no business being played anywhere. Ever. No, the answer lies in White Snake's "Once Bitten, Twice Shy." How many times have you told yourself "I'll never let myself get this worked up over Michigan Football ever again" only to do it the next play. "You didn't know how rock n roll burned/So you bought a candle and you lived and you learned." Michigan Football in a nutshell.

Head Coach LLoyd Carr: "Simple Man" by Skynyrd. Simple words. Simple game plans. Simple offenses. Simple defenses. Etc...

Former Defensive Coordinator Jim Herrmann: "Since You've Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. Do I really need to explain this? "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys was also considered.

New Defensive Coordinator Ron English: "I Ain't Nothin' But a Dog" by Too Short. Anything from Shorty The Pimp covers English. He played Carr, Michigan and the Bears against each other and came up with his grill gleemin' like a disco ball (different arist, I'm aware). Straight up pimp.

Offensive Coordinator Mike DeBord: "I'm a Swing it" by House of Pain. "Some people thought I'd died/That's just a rumor though/Others thought I'd follow up/Now I'm numero Uno." While the first track on the album "Back From the Dead" title wise might make more sense, I think that line from "Swing It" sums up DeBord pretty well. Left for dead after a miserable run at Central Michigan, DeBord is indeed back ontop. Say what you want, but Offensive Coordinator at Michigan is a sweet gig, and if he restores some life and creativity to the Michigan offense he'll live up to his title track.

Assistant Head/Wide Receivers Coach Erik Campbell: This one is tough. What fits for a guy that's given us five receivers that have lead the Big Ten in receptions over the past 7 years? "Big Balls" by AC/DC.

Running Backs Coach Fred Jackson: The easy joke is "Born to Run" but as much as I love Bruce, it don't fit. After last season when Michigan sputtered like a 57 Buick without a healthy Mike Hart, then purred like a brand new Lotus with him, I've gotta go with Lionel Richie's "Hello". Because, yes, it is you we've been looking for. We're looking for you to keep Hart in the lineup for more than a game.

Quarter Backs Scott Loefler: "Fortunate Son" by Creedence. It was amazing watching this guy's stock go through the roof during the offseason. His pursuit of uber recruit Ryan Mallet and success in recruiting blue chippers like Henne (I don't care what you think, I think Henne's a damn good quarterback) have cemented his position a favored son in the Michigan coaching family.


Michigan Basketball: "I Get Knocked Down" by Chumbawumba. They've been knocked around a tad this season. But they've gotten back on their feet every time. This is a particularly resilient team. They seem to hop back up after they've been kicked in the teeth. And they get back up swinging. "Eye of the Tiger" gets a mention because of the boxing reference.

Tommy Amaker: Anything by Kid n Play might seem appropriate with Tommy's patented high top fade, but their "music" was just so horrendous I can't justify mentioning any of it in good conscience. Beck's "Loser" received a head nod. But I gotta go with Tupac's "Me Against The World". How much heat has been on this guy? Its like his office is located in the center of a Viking range. Everyone from Grand Rapids to Toledo to Da Uper has been calling for his head. Just like his team, Tommy's been pretty resilient. Not only is Michigan the last Big Ten team still playing, anywhere, he seems to have found some of his recruiting magic. If he lands Patrick Beverly and at least one other (I'll say decent, because Beverly's a big fish) decent recruit, he will have managed to save his job. But then again "I got nothing to lose/It's just me against the world."


Michigan Hockey: Young. Reckless. A little clueless. Definitely at the top of the heap in terms of athletes around campus. More fun than a barrel of monkeys when they're on. Like watching a train wreck in slow motion when they're not. Reminds me of Motley Crue back in the 80's. Crue's "Same Old Situation" fits the bill. Always competitive. Always entertaining always finding some new exciting way to lose a NCAA tourney game. Either that or drawing the worst bracket in the history of the NCAA's. "If it wasn't for bad luck/I'd have no luck at all."

Red Berenson: "Damn it Feels Good To Be A Gangster" by the Ghetto Boys. Say what you want about this season, Red is a flat out gangster. Uber recruit after uber recruit. Not only does he have the top notch ability to win, but he's also got the ability to scare the crap out of college aged hockey players and get them to do what he wants. Red's pissed on the sides of buildings and walked away with warnings. He's lost Hobey winners to the NHL and simply replaced them. He gets the pick of the litter in recruiting, and he has the privilege of picking his own exit in a business known for the short lives of coaches. Gangsta.

Anyway, its a start, and open for revision. Let me know.

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