Friday, May 19, 2006

Sweatervests For Everyone!

Except for you Lloyd, You Get Nothing

According the Ohio State University Athletics site, head coach Jimbo Tressel has signed a seven year extension. The new contract will keep Ole' Mc Sweatervest in Columbus through 2012 and further irritate the Wolverine faithful at least through 2020. To celebrate, Tressel reportedly hijacked a yatch with newly released Craig Krenzel and sailed to Jamaica until the start of fall practice.

Given Tressel's record over the past five years, its hard to argue that he didn't deserve an extension of some kind. He's gone 50-13 and gone 4-1 against Michigan (dammit!). However, the shear size of his extension makes you stop and scratch your head.

As The-614 points out, Jimmy T is now the highest paid public official in the State of Ohio. The Terms of JT's contract:

2006 -- $2,378,900
2007 -- $2,300,900
2008 -- $2,325,900
2009 -- $2,400,900
2010 -- $2,500,900
2011 -- $2,575,900
2012 -- $2,675,900

If you do the math, during the course of his contract the State of Ohio will pay Tressel over $17 MILLION to coach the OSU football team. I'm guessing that should keep Tress and the misses in fresh vests and blow for the foreseeable future. As for the State of Ohio, Kudos! Glad to see that money isn't being wasted. I mean, I'd hate to think that money could've been spent on books, teacher's salaries, or healthcare. I'm sure all the patients in the underfunded burn and cancer wards are thrilled for him.

Coach Tressel Relaxes After Signing His New Contract

Reaction from Michigan was muted. Contrary to assertions on such fine sites as Buckeye Commentary, Lloyd was not being consoled by family members when news of Jimbo's extension was released. In fact, he was at Schembechler hall grumbling and slurping down a Boost/Metamusil smoothie while watching the Rosanne marathon on TBS. He was quoted as muttering "Those fucking people" several times before nodding off.

Taking a look at J-Tress' accomplishments over the last 5 years, it ain't a bad resume. Since 2001, he's got a 50-13 record, 2 shared Big Ten Titles, and one (cough, cough) national championship. Jimmy's also delivered three Fiesta Bowl wins and an Alamo bowl win in his last four bowl games. As much as I'd like to point to some evil reason for his success, I really can't. Or Can I? (You want to win National Championships? Well feast your ears on this tasty ditty!)

By comparison, since 2001 Michigan is a pedestrian 44-18, has one outright Big Ten Championship and one shared, and last won a bowl game against Florida in the 2003 Outback Bowl. Not bad, but not, well, Michigan. It's the four losses to Ohio State that really rub the rock salt into the festering sore.

It doesn't look like it's going to get any better. Tressel's in Columbus to stay. As Around the Oval pointed out, why not just make it a life time contract? My answer: Somewhere, deep down inside, there's still the thought that Cheatypants will start losing to Michigan. And when that happens, they wanna be able to yank that hovercraft right out from under him.

However, he's gotta start losing for that to happen. When Lloyd wakes up, we'll talk about it. After Rosanne, of course.

Other Commentary: By default, you have to go to Tressel's World, EDSBS, and the MZone for their takes. As MZone points out, this will indeed buy a lot of Escalades. I'm waiting in giddy anticipation of what Joey and Johnny come up with.

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