Thursday, August 24, 2006

Eric Moneypenny is a Moron Person Who Does Inadequate Research

One of the reasons I put Fox Sports on my bloglines RSS feed is that they consistently provide information faster than ESPN. They also provide it out without the pop-ups, wav files, and assorted other coca-cola based crap getting in the way of the information.

Every now and again they have an interesting piece to read, and their 119 teams in 119 days has been nothing short of spectacular reading.

However, like any media conglomerate, they have a need to pump out content.

Reporters seen submitting articles to

So when I saw the Five Coaches on The Hot Seat article by Eric Moneypenny, somehow I knew Carr's name would be in there. I figured at 4 or 5. Listed, but in that, "yeah, a few more seasons like last year and he could be in trouble" kind of way.

Yes, Mr. Bond, I believe Lloyd is on the "hawt-seat."

Wrong. According to Moneypenny, Lloyd is the No. 1 coach, in all of college football, who is on the hot seat. Let's throw that out to the sports nation shall we. Lloyd is close to getting fired according to the writers at Fox Sports. There is of course a disclaimer at the top which says the following:

"(NOTE: These seat-sitters are strictly my choices. I'm not a biased fan of any of these schools, nor am I their athletic directors, privy to contract information about how expensive it would be to buy them out, etc.)"

He left out the following: "However, I feel confident enough that these people are close enough to being fired to throw it out there for everyone to chew on. I haven't talked to anyone, these are just my wild guesses looking at last year's results."

Great work All-Star.

Here's the "information" he uses to support his contention:

"Carr's hot-seat status is up for intense debate in Ann Arbor, and just about anywhere else that cares. After all, this is Michigan, and if you can't exactly be Bo, then you'd better beat Ohio State and not lose 3-5 games in a season. With every loss to Wisconsin, Minnesota, and even the Buckeyes, Jeremy Piven on HBO's Entourage isn't the only one around that can be frantically screaming "LLOYD!!!".

Talented offensive skill players, and im-pressive upperclassmen on defense should put Michigan near the top of the Big Ten in 2006. If not, the future doesn't look bright for the last coach that led the Wolverines to their last National Championship."

He gets paid for this. This is the ND Nation chat board equivalent of OMG LLLLLoyd! in a media professional.

Brian covered all of this a couple of weeks ago (and again today), yet here we go again. The only person screaming for Lloyd's head is Joey. What galls me the most is the fact that this guy did no research. We've lost to Minnesota once in the last 15 or so years. We hold a 7-3 record over Wisconsin, a team that has 3 Rose Bowl wins during that time. We've lost a few to Ohio State, but prior to Tressel we'd won a few. He implies we're losing constantly to these teams to set up a horrendous "Entourage" joke? What. A. Friggin. Tool.

I write for Fox!

Calling a coach out for not getting the most out of his players is nothing new in Ann Arbor, Tallahasse, Happy Valley, or Austin. But do your damn research and realize Michigan went to two straight Rose Bowls before last year. Realize one bad year doesn't destroy a legacy. And more importantly, realize the only people debating Carr's future in public are you morons.

Making things even funnier are the people he puts on the watch list rather than "hot-seat". If Rich Brooks hasn't been fired by now, he's never leaving. Bill Callahan? He even admits that he's not in trouble, but throws his name out anyway. If you can read this without laughing/crying/throwingup you're a better person than me:

"Not to suggest that Callahan's seat is getting too heated, but I don't remember any national championships during his first two years, and he's trying to please the same rowdy crowd that got rid of a reasonably successful Frank Solich. But, thanks to an improving West Coast offense that features a few handfuls of talented young freshmen and sophomores, the future looks bright in Lincoln. However, if Callahan doesn't win the Big 12 North this season or go 13-1, it's not even close to time to start getting sweaty over his tenure."

The bolded sections are my doing. First, no one wins National Championships in their first two years. Second, Frank Solich? This guy? Are you serious? Third, your last sentence makes no sense. It's so bad it could be considered a crime against nature. Are you saying if he doesn't win the Big 12 North he's safe, or that if he fails to win 13 games he's safe? Did you proof read this thing before you posted it?

Me, I've got an excuse. It's not my job. Him? Not so much.

Moral of the story: Ignore this man.


At 1:32 PM, Anonymous Ben said...

I also doubt Nebraska plays 14 games. Someone should hit this moron on the head with a tack-hammer.

At 1:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

14 games would assume they win the big 12 north and play in the Big 12 championship followed by a bowl.

At 1:49 PM, Blogger Maize n Brew Dave said...

Any reference to a tack hammer makes me laugh.

"You know what, if you don't know how to use a seat belt hit the call button so tommy can come and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, because you are a re-tard!"

They'd either have to win every game but the last one, or lose in the conference championship to Texas, a team they would've had to have beaten a month before.

It is quite possibily one of the stupidest things fox has put on line. And to put it in that type of a category is scary. Because, well, its Fox we're talking about.

At 5:19 PM, Anonymous the walrus said...

I assume he's trying to be the Geraldo Rivera of sports?

At 2:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with your post. This guy doesn't really know his stuff at all. There is one thing I wanted to point out about your comments though. You say "no one wins national championships in their first two years." Larry Coker did it in his 1st year back in '01, and the very next season Jim Tressel accomplished the feat in his 2nd.

At 8:16 AM, Anonymous Ben said...

Ah, forgot about those pesky conference title games.


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